Thank You Keith and Wink, New AFF Member

For the ASL vlog version, click here

Hello Everyone and welcome,

Today I want to announce something. You know my roster? Really there’s only one name on the AFF roster. Today I get to announce there’s a new name to add to it. Her name is Norma Boots. She provided the subject for my previous post. She had been reading a book when she came upon a comment the author wrote that was negative toward deafness. She looked up the author’s contact information and sent her a direct email. The author responded, becoming a discussion. Norma stayed strong and positive and did a lot to help the author understand Deaf culture. That’s the point of the AFF - to help eradicate Audism - that.

So the two of then discussed what name she wanted. My name is the CODA Kidd, with 2 d’s, because it looks more like a wrestler’s name. So we both thought on it and came up with ideas, but when we shared them we didn’t like them. So we did it again and man, what a waste. Finally, she had come up with one. She is the “Paladin of Justice”, but I prefer to sign “Justice” like this (the sign for equality as opposed to the one that relates to “court”). That’s cool! Her name is The Paladin of Justice! Yeah! So now it can be added to the roster, meaning there are now two people. I’m waiting for more, so who’s out there? Come on, I’m ready!

Recently my wife and I went to Brewer, Maine, for the Keith Wann and Wink show. I bought tickets for myself, my wife, niece, sister, (my mother), and my aunt. She is very special to me. Both of my parents are Deaf. No one on my mother’s side of the family ever really signed, and it was the same for my father’s side of the family, with one exception - his sister (my aunt). My father was the oldest of his siblings while my aunt was the youngest. There’s about 15 years separating them. So when she was a kid, somewhere between 4 and 6 years old, my father taught her ASL. He would show her the alphabet and some signs. She started to pick it up, and then just took off with it. That’s what makes her unique in their family - she is the only one who signed. Very nice. So we brought everyone to the show.

The first performance was the comedy show, which was Wink followed by Keith. It’s such a good experience, but I had seen the same show twice before in Boston and New Hampshire. Despite that, the show was still awesome. Anyways, during the break we looked around at the school the show was held in. It’s an elementary/middle school. The same aunt I just mentioned works there, and has her classroom upstairs on the second floor. She’s the special ed teacher, so it was cool to have her show us her room and the upstairs. 

When we came back down, I noticed my mother hanging around and chatting with the other Deaf people there. It was a very good time. It was so nice to see everybody, so many old faces I remember, but I couldn’t recall most of their names. It’s the CODA curse, maybe (what do you think?) because when you’re a little kid at the Deaf Club meetings with your family and you see all of the adults, and play with all the other CODA children, you get to know their faces, all of them - strong remember. But names? My god, I was just a little kid. I didn’t remember any names because no one ever spoke them. You can’t pick it up if it’s not mentioned - but their faces? Oh yes they’re etched in my brain. It was really nice to see so many people. 

Keith’s comedy performance was the same routine until the very end, where he added a sort of “thank you” to everyone who came. He wanted to show everyone, it’s hard to explain, really. It was beautiful of course, and it bent my heart. To be honest, it did draw a tear from my eye, but it’s ok, I am still a man here, alright? He performed a song and I don’t know its name, but it sounded a lot like country. The words on their own were very powerful, about each person having a candle representing their spirit, and how we should be responsible for finding those whose candles are out, go to them and help them by showing our own light, in hopes theirs will ignite. It was really how he signed it and told the story, though. It was so powerful to see this on stage and realize it was just like watching a music video, like the ones you see on MTV or other stations. When you watch a video, it has its story in English words, but the video itself tells a story, too, just like a movie does. Keith’s performance was just like that - a music video.

I just sat there, jaw on the floor in awe of what I was seeing. So Keith, I just want to say “thank you”. That performance really touched my heart, and that was a wonderful experience, so thank you.

Afterwards was the second performance by Wink, entitled “My Father’s Gift”. It wasn’t really a comedy, but a more serious look at his parents, who are Deaf. It was really interesting to see at the beginning of his performance how he explained his parents’ backgrounds growing up (the family dynamic, what kinds of schools they went to, etc). I noticed it was very similar to my family. His father and mine both went to schools for the Deaf when they were 5 years old, so they got to be around other deaf children the entire time, signed, and interacted. The contrast was interesting to see that his mother and my own, when they were of age for school, were both sent to public schools by their own parents, with nothing more than some hearing aids and a push out the door with the hopes they would learn to speak. I’m pretty sure Wink’s mom was in the public school system through graduation. My mother was in public school until about 12 or 13 years old. Her parents noted that her improvement was insignificant, so they felt it was perhaps best to send her to a school or the deaf, and she finally got to go. To see how their stories were similar was really cool, and helped me to relate even more. 

He told the story of how his parents had met, how his father had fallen in love with her, and that was a beautiful story. Later on they had a baby girl (Wink’s older sister). Wink was the second child. In his performance he became both of his parents. The story truly broke my heart, but knowing how he survived, well, I have to say that his story, compared to Keith’s ASL song, it’s like this. Keith’s brought a tear to my eye. However, Wink’s story had me removing my glasses to wipe the many tears from my face and looking around to make sure no one saw me. That. 

The story was so powerful, seeing those Deaf have so much inner strength, love and everything else you could mention. It was during that time (part of the story) that his father’s strength was the solitary reason for Wink being born. Now as an adult this is how Wink thanks him. It really is his father’s gift.

I want to sum up here. Keith’s performance really touched my heart. Wink’s was so powerful, not only did it touch my heart, but at the same time, it ripped it open, and then healed it to be even stronger because of what happened in that story. His father’s strength, the love for his family, for his wife, that whole thing - wow - that - really made me feel inspired. It’s really a wonderful story about “Deaf Can”, “Deaf Strong”, and “Do Deaf Need Hearing People? No!” That was impressive. We CODAs carry around a “Deaf heart” inside of us, and that story touched mine, making such an impact that it will be in my mind and heart forever. That’s what I want to say, to Wink, “Thank you. I want to let you know that seeing your performance, your comedy show, and other experiences I’ve had with you whether it was the interview or just hanging out, you’ve left a mark on my life, and that’s a true inspiration for me. Thank you. To Keith, thank you as well. Both of you guys are awesome!

So all this rambling about the show and how it affected me by breaking my heart, mending it, yada yada, does have a purpose. I want all of you - those of you who haven’t yet seen Wink and Keith perform - to go online, right now. Well that’s just dumb of me, you guys are already watching this vlog (or reading this blog). So let’s do this. When this video (or blog) is finished, I want you to go to keithwann.com or winkasl.com. It doesn’t matter which one you go to, just search their page for a tour schedule. If you find that they are coming to your area, by all means, please, don’t be patient, and certainly don’t wait. Grab those tickets. Bring your friends and your family, everybody. Bring them all and watch the show. I know your hearts will be impacted the same way mine has been. 

Until next time,

R. M. 

A Wonderful Night With Three Great Performers

Hello everyone,

It has been forever since I have posted anything on this blog. Much of what has been taking my attention away from writing is finally over, which gives me some much needed free time. So this post is me spending some of that time so I can share with you a wonderful experience that ELF and I had about two weeks ago.

Ever since I heard the term CODA, it gave me a sense of belonging to something. For the most part, that tie is to Deaf people. Deaf people who use ASL, but mostly my family, my parents’ Deaf friends, and the many Deaf friends I have made here in the Boston area. There is another tie, just as strong and as unique to my tie with Deaf people. It’s the tie to other CODAs, and it’s uniqueness comes from our common shared experiences. 

It’s because of these ties that I have become increasingly interested in ASL performances. Most everything I have seen has been via the internet, watching ASL poems, storytelling, and comedy routines. One of my favorite performers has been Keith Wann. Any CODA reading this likely knows exactly who I am talking about. He may be one of the funniest performers I have ever seen. It’s been a dream to see him perform live, and two weeks ago I finally got to when he came to perform at Harvard University. 

The first surprise came after ELF and I parked the car in a local garage and began walking towards Sever Hall where the show would be. On our way down Quincy Street I had noticed and pointed out to ELF two Deaf women just ahead of us on the sidewalk. We had no idea where Sever Hall was, but knew they were on their way there, so we decided to follow them. In about another 200 feet, one of them got into a car, and the other one turned around to make her way to the same vehicle. That’s when I recognized her face. As a young child, my family spent a lot of time with hers. Her father and my father were good friends all through school. 

I waved her down and introduced myself. Before I could finish spelling my last name, her face lit up in surprised recognition and she immediately began to relay it through the car windows to her friends inside. The group turned out to be her husband, who had been a more recent fishing buddy of my father’s, her mother whom I haven’t even seen since childhood, and another couple who were also good friends with my parents and hers. They had made the four hour drive from Bangor, Maine to Boston just for the show. We had a great conversation on the way to the hall and while waiting inside before the show began. 

It was great catching up with all of them, and before I knew it, one of them expressed his thoughts to me on my father, his good friend, and what it meant for him to miss him. His little speech on this caused me to choke back some nearly uncontrollable tears on the verge of crashing down in front of everyone. It was a very thoughtful gesture, and I’ll never forget his words. Loosely translated, he said that he really missed my father, would always remember his laughter, and pointed out that I must miss him dearly. That’s when the flood came for me, and as I was nodding yes he hugged me out of nowhere. I hadn’t seen this man since my father’s funeral service over five years ago, and I’m pretty sure we didn’t even hug then, but it was a very welcome thing nonetheless. I mean, where else can one find such a small community closeness? For me, there isn’t really any other place that lives up to that Deaf community standard. 

Well, anyways, after that it wasn’t long before we were allowed into the lecture hall for the show. It was a small audience, maybe about 100 people or a few more. It turned out to be a great show. I was surprised to see one Gregg Spera perform an opening act (very good one-of-a-kind performer, by the way) before another man named Wink performed. If you’re familiar with Keith’s work then you may recognize Wink as well. They have been working together for some time now on an ASL radio show in Florida. The show broadcasts over the radio for the hearies and podcasts on the internet for all the ASLers. Wink is a CODA as well, and his stand up routine had me laughing almost constantly. 

When Keith went up to perform it was no different. The man is incredibly funny, and between the two of them I identified with so many CODA experiences. Everything they said and did was funny, but to relate to it so well just made the laughter all the more special. I really felt at home, so to speak. After the show ELF and I hung around to meet them, and to our surprise we were invited to hang out with them at a local restaurant. 

This second surprise was something I couldn’t turn down, despite how late it was and the fact that ELF and I had to be up early the next morning. So we threw caution to the wind and had ourselves a good time. I do want to say that Keith seems like an incredible guy, and he was very down to earth. We just hung out and ASLed for a couple of hours, occasionally attracting the attention of hearies trying to figure out what all this hand-flying around stuff was all about. One guy literally stopped outside a window to look in on us with his mouth wide open. Well whatever, I’m used to that, I suppose. 

What turned out to be an amazing evening of surprises had just one more for us  after we parted ways. Keith and Wink returned to their hotel room, Gregg went home, and the other person who was there led us back to the path to our garage. Enter surprise number three; the garage was locked and the security doors down. No way in or out while raining in late March at twelve-frickin-thirty in the morning. So we did the only thing we could do - I called a friend out of bed to come pick us up and bring us home. Thankfully he answered the call. It even turned to snow for a short time before he finally made it there to pick us up. 

It didn’t damper the experience at all, however. It was quite a stamp to put on at the end of the day, but we had a great time. The only thing that made it better that it already had been was the fact that not at any single moment did ELF need anything interpreted. She has come such a long way, and I am so proud of her.

There is one other piece of news that I wish to share with you all. About one year ago, I contacted Keith Wann in the meager hopes that he would agree to do a blog interview. Well, he agreed to it on the spot, and that was a wonderful surprise. I mean, the CODA Brothers didn’t respond at all, and here was this guy ready to go. So I sent him some questions via email, and over the course of the past year, we finally found time to complete the thing. I will be posting this interview 28 days from now, on May 5th. Not sure by what time, but look for future posts either here or on facebook. If I decide on something, it will be mentioned either here or there. 

Until next time,

R. M.